This has been a tough year for employees at the Kansas City Star with ongoing layoffs and work furloughs hanging over their heads.
And Publisher and President Mi-Ai Parrish just made it rougher by announcing today in a memo that there are more job eliminations on the horizon at the McClatchy-owned newspaper.
The paper also recently announced a new digital paywall system.
Memo To: Co-Workers
RE: Reduction in Force
As we continue to be challenged by uncertain economic news, I have decided to restructure and realign some pieces of the business, eliminating several positions, as well as some open positions.
The employees affected by the reductions have been notified.
Job eliminations are a tough reality, and they are a difficult step. As we continue to restructure and strategically reinvent our operation for our future, you efforts are vital. Please ask me or any member of the senior team if you have questions.
Mi-Ai Parrish
John…..memo from Parrish is very fuzzy…can you give an actual quote from letter so we can understand what she said…
Thanks
Solid Sid
Thanks. I printed it out.
TRANSLATION OF PUBLISHER’S MEMO:
Dude, you need a translator for this one.
MEMO TO: Co-workers
Translation: I don’t actually work with you but want you to feel that way. I was your buddy last week when I gave you a Christmas ornament. Remember the real Christmas gifts they used to give? Yeah, me neither.
FROM: Mi-Ai Parrish.
Translation: From your buds in Sacramento who are calling all the shots now. All of them.
RE: Reduction in force
Translation: Don’t refer to them as layoffs or firings in my presence, please.
As we continue to be challenged by uncertain economic news,
Translation: The economy is getting better for every business in the area but us.
I have decided
Translation: Sacramento has decided
to restructure and realign some pieces of the business, eliminating several positions, as well as some open positions.
Translation: I’m a horrible manager and in way over my head. Also, the big VP Christmas Party? All that food and booze costs money, especially if Fannin shows up. But it’s still on at Pierpont’s.
The employees affected by the reductions have been notified.
Translation: Merry Christmas.
Job eliminations are a tough reality, and they are a difficult step
Translation: But they’ll keep continuing, since that’s what corporate wants
As we continue to restructure and strategically reinvent our operation for the future
Translation: Operation? The patient needs a goddamned heart transplant
your efforts are vital.
Translation: Until we don’t need you, or you piss me off personally.
Please ask me or any member of the senior team if you have questions
Translation: Go ahead and ask but we’ll ignore them.
BLOOD-LETTING
If I didn’t need the money for a new refrigerator, I’d go out and buy a six-pack tonight. When will the blood-letting cease? My prayers are certainly with those who are getting the axe as well as those who remain aboard what appears to be a sinking ship where the morale has to be lower than a snake’s belly by now.
CALL FOR COLUMNISTS
“The Star’s open solicitation for unpaid, guest columnists at this time is simply a coincidence.” – Mi-Ai Parrish
CEO VS. EMPLOYEES
The Star is not losing money. It just isn’t enough for the greedy people at the top. Competition in modern society is the CEO versus all the employees below him/her.
HOW MANY?
What departments are affected and how many people?
YOU EFFORTS?
…as we continue to restructure and strategically reinvent our operation for our future, you efforts are vital…
“you efforts”?
Thereien lies the problem. I guess when you fire all the proofreaders, senior management has got to get by on their own.
“You efforts”?
I will take the blame for that one. It was my typo, not Parrish’s.